Erika Ray Photography » blog

You Assume That I’m the Captain.

During my laid-off time, I’m navigating a weird sea of emotions.

I feel bad if he isn’t learning 90% of the time.  I love that he can play and I can “work”.  I love that we can lazily roll into the day.  I hate that he plays video games for more than 20 minutes.  I hate that I have to fight for a walk or a trip to Old Navy.  I hate that other people think this sea is easy or even controllable.  I love when he asks me to play a board game.  I hate when he asks to play it three times in a row.  I hate that other people think I should be so grateful for this time.  I love his glee when Coop comes home.  I hate that Mark got to pack for a work trip and I really hate that he said, “This isn’t fun, it’s work.”  I love that I used to think it was fun.

But what I really hate is that there is deep and awful hatred in the world.  And I hate that anyone’s child has to grow into this unfortunate acceptance of life.

And in that sadness, I witness the simple joy of a kid licking guacamole.

Life should be that simple.

It is when you deal with the hate, but choose to drown in the love.

  • Vanessa - I love this. So perfectly said. Such gorgeous photos.April 16, 2013 – 8:29 amReplyCancel

  • Staci - Yes to everything! Especially the bit about “I hate that other people think this sea is easy or even controllable” and “But what I really hate is that there is deep and awful hatred in the world”. I’m right there with you. Thank you for sharing!April 16, 2013 – 10:15 amReplyCancel

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