Sometimes life is wonky.
Sometimes life is boring.
Sometimes it’s shitty.
That’s when a 365 gets challenging. During those moments I begrudgingly find my camera and snap a photo. Sometimes it’s a nondescript scene. The kids are easy targets. But it’s always done without passion and always half-assed. Half-assed is being generous. Most of my life is done half-assedly. I snap the picture only because I’m supposed to snap one frame a day.
Sometimes I even think, “Fuck it. Just quit the project. No one would care. You wouldn’t even care! Just fucking stop and lay on the couch. What’s the point?”
Good question. Right now, there is no point. Just some stupid promise I made to myself.
But a few weeks from now there will be a point. A few years from now there will be a point. Just because I don’t understand the point right now doesn’t mean it isn’t valid.
The point is my days seen with my eyes. Sometimes it’s shitty. Sometimes it’s happy. But it’s always full of life: good, bad, shit, ease, difficulties, half-assed, full-on boogie, laughter, tears, love. It’s all there. And when I can’t fully see the beauty, my camera always shoves it in my face when I’m ready. “Look what you were missing, Dummy.” My camera can be a bitch.