Erika Ray Photography » blog


Wow.  That seems like a lot right?  Ten years of marriage.  And within a spilt second it sounds like nothing.  I makes us sound like newlyweds.

Nope.  I’m back to feeling like an old hag.  It helps the Hag-feelings because there’s 7 years prior to marriage lurking in our background.

My sister made her husband a card and said, “You’re going to make fun of it Erika.”  I didn’t (or I don’t think I did), but it wasn’t my thing.  But totally hers and adorable for them.  You probably seen a version of it floating around.

So here’s my version of our 10 Year Anniversary Card*:

  • 3,653 Days of being legally attached.
  • 3,653 days of wanting to be legally attached.
  • Two sets of keys to two new-to-us doors.
  • 16** other keys that we never found the actual door.  16 keys that still sit on a key ring in a junk drawer.
  • One door replaced and the old key never tossed.
  • One house sold.
  • One house full of memories we only get to revisit in pictures.
  • One house with a clean slate and memories that are already starting to pile up.
  • One dog, who shit on our carpet the night we rescued her.
  • One dog fed and loved until her ribs were properly hidden again.
  • Two heartbeats fluttered on a retro screen.
  • One, “It’s a boy, Rays.”
  • Three years later, “It’s another boy, Rays!”
  • Two times, “I promise not to look” was uttered.
  • Two times, I watched you look.
  • One time you tried to cover me in a tent while I breast-fed.
  • More than a dozen times since you’ve now said, “Why doesn’t the world breast-feed!?”
  • 654 diapers you sleepily changed while I waited to nurse.
  • 62 miles walked on old house’s carpeting to get first baby to sleep.
  • A hundred times, “I think he needs to nurse again” was whispered.
  • “I can’t do this” exasperated more than a hundred times.
  • “Yes, you can.  We can” responded back each time.
  • Twice in the same week, we both said: I know why fathers/mothers went out for cigarettes and never came back.
  • “No.  I didn’t say you were a bitch.  I said you were acting like a bitch.” said five times.
  • “No.  I didn’t say you were an asshole. I said you were acting like an asshole.” said five times.
  • “Sugartits” affectionately called 4690 times.
  • 24 times a meal was choked down and “Don’t add this into the rotation, Sweetie.” was said from across the table.
  • 167 times a full mouth spilled out the words, “Wow this is so good.”
  • 5 slammed doors without information on the destination.
  • 5 doors reopened.
  • One job loss.
  • A thousand, We-Got-This-Babe’s.
  • One Kindergarten crying moment that broke three hearts.
  • “Fine.  I’ll watch this movie” forced out 24 times.
  • “OMG it was so good.” fessed up 3 times.
  • “I’m done.” said 1398 times.
  • “We can do this.” said and trusted 1398 times.
  • The trash taken out and no liner was replaced 24981 times.
  • Rotten fruit tossed into no-liner trash can 234 times.
  • 2 joking conversations about how maybe we should just stay married but date other people and have a separate apartment.
  • 2 half-joking conversations about how maybe we should just stay married but date other people and have a separate apartment.
  • 123 conversations in from a hotel.
  • 13 Skype sessions when the boys really just wanted to ride the on-screen roller coaster.
  • “No I don’t want to get weird on Skype” said 3 times after the boys go to bed.
  • One trip to the ER.
  • 35 times we’ve woken up with a kid between us.
  • 5890 shoves to roll over to stop snoring.
  • Three times we’ve been puked on.
  • Twice we’ve been shit on.
  • “I hate you” said zero times.
  • “I love you” said an impossible amount of times.
  • Meant it 98% of the time.
  • 3,653 days of working hard to get another day.


Happy 10 years.

 * There’s a reason I don’t design cards.  I can’t shut up.

** All numbers are estimates.  In reality, it’s probably a hell of a lot more.


  • Imene - It’s much better than a card 😉 I hope he knows how crazy lucky he isMay 10, 2013 – 8:55 amReplyCancel

  • skeller - remember 20+ years ago, those sickly/sacharinely sweet, “poetry” filled, watercolor covered (usually warm hues of pinks & yellows) cards at the hallmark & grocery stores everywhere? Most of the “poems” were penned by Susan Polis Schutz (can’t even believe I remember her name. I must be deeply scarred in my psyche.) I hated those cards. So Much.

    I LOVE this anniversary card. It’s perfect. Happy Anniversary to the both of you.May 10, 2013 – 9:23 amReplyCancel

  • Sarah Jane - Happy anniversary you guys.
    Loved reading this, it totally made me a little teary-eyed, ha.May 10, 2013 – 11:02 amReplyCancel

  • tamar - Erika,
    Happy Anniversary and I just love the write up in this post. You are one real person and I just love reading your blog and seeing your pics.
    Keep on keeping it real. Yes “always working hard to get to another day”. :)May 11, 2013 – 4:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Jacquie - I love this one! – “I love you” said an impossible amount of times. :) Very Happy Anniversary !!!May 13, 2013 – 5:42 amReplyCancel

  • Joyce Circle - You are just too –too–creative! Love your posts! Your friends and family must love hanging out with you–I know your Mom and Dad do!!
    Oh–Happy Anniversary !!
    Hugs, Joyce aka to you–Mrs. CircleMay 10, 2016 – 11:23 pmReplyCancel

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