Wow. That seems like a lot right? Ten years of marriage. And within a spilt second it sounds like nothing. I makes us sound like newlyweds.
Nope. I’m back to feeling like an old hag. It helps the Hag-feelings because there’s 7 years prior to marriage lurking in our background.
My sister made her husband a card and said, “You’re going to make fun of it Erika.” I didn’t (or I don’t think I did), but it wasn’t my thing. But totally hers and adorable for them. You probably seen a version of it floating around.
So here’s my version of our 10 Year Anniversary Card*:
- 3,653 Days of being legally attached.
- 3,653 days of wanting to be legally attached.
- Two sets of keys to two new-to-us doors.
- 16** other keys that we never found the actual door. 16 keys that still sit on a key ring in a junk drawer.
- One door replaced and the old key never tossed.
- One house sold.
- One house full of memories we only get to revisit in pictures.
- One house with a clean slate and memories that are already starting to pile up.
- One dog, who shit on our carpet the night we rescued her.
- One dog fed and loved until her ribs were properly hidden again.
- Two heartbeats fluttered on a retro screen.
- One, “It’s a boy, Rays.”
- Three years later, “It’s another boy, Rays!”
- Two times, “I promise not to look” was uttered.
- Two times, I watched you look.
- One time you tried to cover me in a tent while I breast-fed.
- More than a dozen times since you’ve now said, “Why doesn’t the world breast-feed!?”
- 654 diapers you sleepily changed while I waited to nurse.
- 62 miles walked on old house’s carpeting to get first baby to sleep.
- A hundred times, “I think he needs to nurse again” was whispered.
- “I can’t do this” exasperated more than a hundred times.
- “Yes, you can. We can” responded back each time.
- Twice in the same week, we both said: I know why fathers/mothers went out for cigarettes and never came back.
- “No. I didn’t say you were a bitch. I said you were acting like a bitch.” said five times.
- “No. I didn’t say you were an asshole. I said you were acting like an asshole.” said five times.
- “Sugartits” affectionately called 4690 times.
- 24 times a meal was choked down and “Don’t add this into the rotation, Sweetie.” was said from across the table.
- 167 times a full mouth spilled out the words, “Wow this is so good.”
- 5 slammed doors without information on the destination.
- 5 doors reopened.
- One job loss.
- A thousand, We-Got-This-Babe’s.
- One Kindergarten crying moment that broke three hearts.
- “Fine. I’ll watch this movie” forced out 24 times.
- “OMG it was so good.” fessed up 3 times.
- “I’m done.” said 1398 times.
- “We can do this.” said and trusted 1398 times.
- The trash taken out and no liner was replaced 24981 times.
- Rotten fruit tossed into no-liner trash can 234 times.
- 2 joking conversations about how maybe we should just stay married but date other people and have a separate apartment.
- 2 half-joking conversations about how maybe we should just stay married but date other people and have a separate apartment.
- 123 conversations in from a hotel.
- 13 Skype sessions when the boys really just wanted to ride the on-screen roller coaster.
- “No I don’t want to get weird on Skype” said 3 times after the boys go to bed.
- One trip to the ER.
- 35 times we’ve woken up with a kid between us.
- 5890 shoves to roll over to stop snoring.
- Three times we’ve been puked on.
- Twice we’ve been shit on.
- “I hate you” said zero times.
- “I love you” said an impossible amount of times.
- Meant it 98% of the time.
- 3,653 days of working hard to get another day.
Happy 10 years.
* There’s a reason I don’t design cards. I can’t shut up.
** All numbers are estimates. In reality, it’s probably a hell of a lot more.