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Random Crap 7

I know that usually Random Crap Posts are funny, but I’m outta funny.  I’m not full up on piss and vinegar but I’m sort of done.  I’m done.  I’m tapped out on words.  I’m tapped out on discussing my images.  I’m tapped out of crafting images.  I’m just flat-out done.  I’d like a little vacation from Wondering What’s Next and I’d like a little comfy spot on Security.

But I’m not an idiot.  I realize Security is a mythical place.  But I also realize that my Wondering What’s Next home isn’t a good spot either.  Hence the I’m Done mantra.

I have an interview today.  You’re probably reading this while I’m being asked about my Biggest Flaw.  As you look at the top image, they’re wondering:  Will she fit in?  Can she do the job?  I spent a good chunk of yesterday feeling sick because I don’t know those answers.  I fit in and did the same job for so long that I stopped questioning it.  All I know is that I don’t have that job and any new job will be a huge life change.  Like enormous.  It’s feels too heavy for me to think about.  So I felt sick all day.

But that’s Change settling in.  I know that It’s going to make a grand entrance any day now whether I like it or not.  I don’t have to like it, but I do have to get over it and settle in.  I’m going to make the best of it and everything will be ok.  Life will be different whether I get the job or not.  I can drag ass for so long, but life isn’t the same as it was three months ago.  So I spent yesterday feeling like shit and mourning it.

But it’s time to move on.

It’s time to accept it and lean on my badass self.

Thanks for sharing the love on my Breakout session (psst, today’s the last day).  Thanks for sending job leads.  Thanks for the “We should get together” texts.  Thanks for letting me ugly cry in the kitchen.  Thanks for letting me be ranty in the kitchen.  Thanks for letting me be ranty in texts.  Thanks for telling me “Everything happens for a reason.”  Thanks for believing and meaning it.  Thanks for all the Good Luck-ing.  Thanks for checking up on me.

And thanks to everyone who let me lean on their badass self.

I think it’s time I stand up on my own.

But it’s really nice to know you’re behind me.

  • Jessica - Ugh the biggest flaw question – I hate they they always ask some version of that! Good luck! I think exciting things are coming your way!April 25, 2013 – 11:34 amReplyCancel

  • Staci - Ahh, I can feel your “done”ness as I read this… I like what Krista says above (don’t know you Krista, but you give good advice!). I’m thinking of your Erika and sending good “bad ass” vibes your way.

    I’ve been wondering since I started following your blog three months ago… what was your job?April 27, 2013 – 8:37 amReplyCancel

  • ashleyvanderloo - Your breakout is beyond amazing. You are real and raw. My friend and I talk about you at work because you are the real shit where us ladies can completely connect.
    There will be times that aren’t so peachy. Sit in it till you are ready to come out.
    You are now on my blog reader. Can’t wait for more.April 28, 2013 – 3:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Some Weeks I’d Put Myself on a Milk carton » Erika Ray Photography - […] when I told you I was done?  That feeling didn’t leave for a few days.  I was really done.  I was over all of it.  I […]May 1, 2013 – 11:26 amReplyCancel

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