I know, it isn’t Mother’s Day. But I’ve got stuff planned for this weekend. The regular stuff: Costco, canning, Movie night with the boys, breakfast in bed, shopping ALONE, stuff. And I know some people don’t believe we should have to celebrate Mother’s day (**cough Jill**cough Carol**), but I’m good with it. I don’t want a big hoopla made over me. And actually my perfect Mother’s day is one spent not Mothering at all. And that usually means somewhere away from my children. I love them dearly but after breakfast in bed, I’m going to try my hardest to make that happen. But I also think it’s important to thank all the Moms that have come before me. That have helped shape me into the Mother I am and try to be on a daily basis. This is my “Thank You”.
The other day, I was on the phone with my Mom. Becks was running around the kitchen talking. He probably interrupted my phone conversation with a long story about nothing memorable. Or a question that I didn’t deem important. Then I probably told my Mom with an exhausted tone, “He’s always talking.” To which my Mom laughed and said, “It’s payback.” Shocker. I was a talker. I’ve known this next fact for a while, but she further confirm it: motherhood is a cycle. And I only just entered my part of the cycle. I’m on year 6 and she’s on year 40+. For every tantrum I endure, my mom has endured more. For every saucy look I’m tossed, my mother’s gotten more. For every slammed door I’ve heard, she’s heard more. For every plate pushed further away from the recipient, she’s watched more slide (maybe. She claims we always ate everything we were served. I call bullshit). For every harsh tone I’ve had rip through my ears, she’s heard more.
But she’s also had more of the important stuff. For every “I love you” I’ve gotten, she’s gotten more. For every exuberant greeting I get at school or daycare, she’s gotten more. For every handmade card I’ve received, she’s had more delivered. For every scream at night that only I can comfort, she’s responded to more. For every “I know you can do it” I’ve whispered and believed, she’s whispered and believed more. For every moment that I beam with pride, she’s experienced more of them. For every time my heart has almost exploded with joy, hers has nearly exploded a million more times. The way that I deeply love my children is exactly the way she deeply loves me and my siblings for the past 40+ years. And realizing that is the best part of accepting the Motherhood cycle.
One day, I hope that my children will enter the parenthood cycle. And when I watch them parent, I hope to see our parenting skills mingling with their unique skills. And within those, I’ll be witnessing my Mother and Father’s skills. And those skills will probably mirror my grandparents’ skills. And hopefully that’s a sweet legacy. But it will also be my turn to say, “It’s payback.” Because that’s the cycle and the pay-off is huge. Happy Mother’s day to every mother that’s a part of the cycle. Remember the cycle and thank your Mom for every push towards greatness, snuggle, laugh, tear wiped, boo kissed, and encouraging word you’ve gotten.