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I’m Not Patient and That’s Probably a Good Thing.

I had a master plan.  I was going to start my third 365 when we closed on our old house.  It was going to be a symbolic kick-off of our big new life in a new home.  I wasn’t shooting daily any longer and I missed watching my life unfold in photos.  The closing date was perfect.  Our new life would finally begin.  We wouldn’t be tied to the past any longer and I was really excited.  None of that excitement dwindled when I lost my job.  That closing date was going to be magic.  I hadn’t talked about it because nothing is final until you sit at the table and grip those pens.  But I was allowing myself to get excited.  Really anticipating that date.

And then Friday happened.  It seems that our closing date is going to be pushed.  Hopefully a few weeks, but possibly much longer.

It stung.  I took the news so much harder than when I lost my job.  That was going to be the date!  Job loss would work itself out as long as we got to closing.  When the date started to fade, so did my trust in the Bigger Plan.  I wallowed and cried most of the weekend.  No closing.  No job.  What the hell am I supposed to do?  Mark kept telling me to not worry; to let him handle it.

I woke up on Monday, still not sure of what to do: no closing, no job.  I turned the utilities back on at the old house and took a shower.  No closing.  No job.  That’s really all that went through my mind.

And then I went to Costco.  Bruno Mars was on the radio and I can’t help but dance and beat the steering wheel when “Locked out of Heaven” comes on.  The last time I heard that song, I felt certain about life.  I was doing the same wonky dance moves.  Screaming the same lyrics with they same out-of-tune voice.  And midway through, I realized that I could get back to that certainty.  It’s only a state of mind because there’s nothing certain about life.  There’s twists and dips all along this road.  We’ve been pretty lucky for a smooth path so far.  It’s our turn for some bumps.  Even the no closing date isn’t certain.  It’s scary, but it isn’t set in stone.  Job loss sucks.  But it is what it is.

And why not start my 365 today?  Shame on me for thinking Life would really begin at closing.  Today is when I let it start again.

You’ll get some SP’s.  Hopefully ones where I look much happier.

In the past, I liked to keep my 365’s processed as lightly as possible.  Maybe this time, I’ll fiddle a bit…

…or add some Black & Whites.

In the end,  you’ll get our life.  All of its bumps, dips, twists and uncertainty.  All of the fun, friends, family, and adventure we can cram into it.

I literally have no clue what will happen.  No guesses or even a half-assed plan.  It will just be our life.

There’s no better day to start living it.

 

  • tracey - Bummed about your bummers but feel encouraged by your resolve to take life as it comes. Indeed, there is a season for everything.
    Stunning bw of your boy. Love it.February 25, 2013 – 7:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Andrea - I’m so glad to hear you are doing a 365 again! I’m sorry about the dips – the job and the closing. I guess life is always reminding us that the best time to “begin” anything is today. We have today. All the rest of it is uncertain.February 25, 2013 – 7:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Jennifer Stein - We love that song too. I am (selfishly, and without any effort) excited about you starting a 365.

    I think this is a better way to start than what you had in mind.February 25, 2013 – 7:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Melanie - So psyched to see you doing this again. Your shots are always so good! Are you a Canon or a Nikon gal? Love the clarity of your photos.February 26, 2013 – 8:29 amReplyCancel

  • Sarah Jane - Yay, excited to keep up with your 365.
    Also, pretty sure I have that same red sweater.March 5, 2013 – 2:57 pmReplyCancel

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