I’m not in a bad mood, I’m just easily irritated these days. That sounds impossible, right? But it’s true. I’m happy at work. Family is good. I’ve seen a handful of friends on a regular basis. Photography is churning out and school activities are at a minimum. I’ve even finished a book. One without pictures, Folks! I’m in a good place.
But I’m just bubbling with an excuse to scream, “GO FUCK YOUR SELF!” to the next person who gives me a cross look.
Here’s a list of things that seem tiny, but are actually so grating to me:
- Work emails that say, “We need to discuss this tomorrow.”
- Oval toilet paper rolls in a public bathroom.
- Any song with a beep or twinkle that sounds like my cell phone’s ring or text.
- The 4 a.m. clockwork stroll my dog takes and then her slump back to her snoring slumber.
- I can’t seem to finish binding a quilt. Plus it’s a baby one! That should have been finished the first day!
- My youngest’s front tooth which refuses to fall out. Can’t some kid hit him in the mouth? Fine, nudge him.
- The fact that Joan Rivers died.
- The chick on American Pickers.
- The joke bug that I constantly mistake for a real bug EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
- The bag of tiny lemons I purchased only to find 4 of them were rotten.
- The fruit flies because of said lemons.
- I forgot cereal at the store. Again.
- My inability to realize that it’s still summer and jeans are way too hot for 90 degrees and thick humidity.
- I should be making pizza dough instead of writing a blog post about how I’m irritated. No dinner will royally irritate the shit out of me and the entire family.
- My slow ass laptop.
- Anyone on West Coast time.
- In the Black Widow song, is sounds like Iggy says “mess with me heartache.” It’s “mess with me, honey.” Erika, get it straight Dum Dum.
- No one has given me a cross look so I could scream, “GO FUCK YOURSELF.”
That felt good… I might be able to handle one snarky look. Feel free to leave your irritants at my door step.
I’m calling this week. Screw it. I’m done.