I think we can all agree, I love a good diva. Not the calm sweet ones. I love the uber talented crazy as a MOFO Diva. Whitney Houston qualifies on all levels. There are two things that make me immediately think of Ms. Houston. The first one: “Kiss my Ass”. When Whitney screamed “Kiss my Ass” on Bobby’s reality tv show, that phrase took on a new level of greatness. Why wouldn’t someone in her camp talk them out of a show? They had to know she was on the edge of sanity. But Divas do what Divas want to do.
The second one: crack. Crack always makes me think of Whitney Houston. I know. I know. She wasn’t on crack. We all know it. She told the entire world when she spoke to Diana Sawyer (Crack is cheap: great line ever. take a couple seconds and watch the link). And that was it. She didn’t do crack. But the damage was done. I hear “crack” and I start singing “It’s Not Right, But it’s Ok” or “The Greatest Love of All” depending on my mood. When I saw a friend Tweet out the phrase Crack sauce, I pulled out The Bodyguard soundtrack and found my blender.
You can find the original at Gluten Free Girl with a very accurate description on why it was given the name Crack Sauce. I was a skeptic. The dipped my finger in after I turned the blender off. It was good. It was weird tasting. But I was left a little underwhelmed. And because I didn’t really have anything to dip, I put it in the fridge and waited. A couple days later, we were having subs with my in-laws. I brought it and slathered it all of my bread. A totally different response from my tastebuds. They were screaming, “Kiss my ass” with some Whitney Houston flair. Delicious. We started dipping anything in it: carrots, bread bits, chips, fingers. It was crack-alicious.
Diva Sauce aka Whitney Houston Sauce
modified version of Gluten Free Girl’s Crack Sauce
(psst. her version is vegan which somehow makes it classier)
1 C. Mayo
1 large chiptole pepper in adobe sauce with some extra sauce
1 garlic clove minced
1 extra heaping T of smoke paprika
lots of lemon zest
Put it all in the blender and blend until smooth.
Slather it on anything you can.