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Wise Words

The first time you leave your baby, a wise and seasoned Mom will tell you the same thing every time you leave that babe:

It’s always harder on you than it is on them.

Some Mom’s need to hear this over and over again before it rings true.  Some never let it sink in.  And others listen and get it quickly.  I heard it quickly.  When I dropped Coop off for the first time, I choked up as I was Race-Walking away.  I heard the director very nicely scream those words.  I got in the car, took a deep breath, and realized I was alone.  I also realized that I left him with loving women who had help raise hundreds of children.  I heard those words and moved on.

I never worried about Becks going to kindergarten.  Never.  I could see him walking into the room, throw up a peace sign, and say “I’m out!”  He’d enter school seamlessly.  He’s been complaining about not learning math, so he’s ready.

And then I got laid-off.

I realized things were different the first time I left him with a friend.  He slow cried and begged me not to leave.  He’s never slow-cried to me.  Once he got there, he never talked with her.  He even put his blanket over his head so he didn’t have to look at her.  When I returned, he asked to leave every second until we left which was sooner than I wanted because the kid was annoying.  And this behavior continued during the lay-off.  He wouldn’t talk to any friends we saw during the afternoon.  He hid behind my legs if anyone spoke to him.  He asked to leave constantly.  This was a different Becks.

I realized that he had never been left without Coop besides daycare: a place he had been since 6 weeks.  His comfort and confident zone.  The more time out of daycare, the more his dependence on me was apparent.

The night before my job started, I saw Mark and him on the back porch.  My heart was heavy.  I had never experienced this when I dropped Beck off at daycare.  I knew he’d be fine.   And as a baby, it was easy.  He laid there: swaddled and ready for the next bottle.  Now at 5, he had questions and emotions.  We had sweet loungy days that would come to an end with the daycare drop off.  I knew daycare was the only option for our family, but it was essential for him.

The next morning, he was up early.  When he saw me dressed, I heard “Let’s go.”  It was an hour earlier than I needed to be at work, but I didn’t argue.  I shuffled him to the car and remembered the words of wise  and seasoned Moms.

It’s always harder on you than it is on them.

I took me a little longer than with Coop.  I was used to an empty car.  It took me until I got busy with work, but I realized he was back with women who loved him and wanted the best for him.

But when I picked him up, I was Race-Walking again.

This time to him.

Jodie - Beautifully expressed. Such a crux moment… for both of you.June 18, 2013 – 10:20 pm

Recent fav

I promise a wordy post later tonight, but I can’t get this photo out of my head.

I love the urgency and connection of this photo.

New babe with first babe.

Lately my life is full of urgency and the need for connection.  It makes sense that this photo keeps popping up in my brain.

See you later, Folks!

stacey - Adore.June 19, 2013 – 7:41 pm

June 10 :: 10

By the time you’re reading this, I’m officially in an office.  Right now, I’m probably desperately trying to catch on.  I’m probably worried about finding the bathroom or how to get more coffee into my system.  I was so happy that Carmen and her family were able to visit before today.  I adore her entire clan.  I wish we lived closer, but honestly we’d get into a shit ton of fun/trouble.  Here’s the first full day as a group of 5 boys and two couples take on Columbus.

Head over and check out DeAnna’s day!

 

 

 

 

Carmen - That was a really great day. I miss your damn faces!June 10, 2013 – 12:42 pm

10 on 10 | june » Catherine Giroux | Photographe de mariage & lifestyle - [...] hey! You don’t wanna miss Erika’s post, don’t [...]June 10, 2013 – 2:45 pm

jess lewis - this looks like such a fun day, i know it was full of laughs!June 10, 2013 – 8:30 pm

Jill Dyer Greenwood - The black and white of Theo? Oh, god, is that beautiful!June 10, 2013 – 11:13 pm

Rachel Devine - Camera in a shower cap? Brilliant!June 11, 2013 – 12:06 am

Erika Ray Photography - It’s a ziploc with a hole cut out. We’re resourceful bitches.June 11, 2013 – 12:34 am

Erika Ray Photography - He is one pretty kid.June 11, 2013 – 12:34 am

Breanna Peterson - um, this looks like a blast- lucky ladies :) !June 15, 2013 – 5:50 pm

Sara Reat - Hi Erika! I’m a friend of Maria Conover…she led me to your awesome blog :) I, too, live in Columbus. Don’t you just love this city? :) Is the first picture at Bicentennial Park/Scioto Mile? We love going there. Those boys look like they’re having too much fun. And I just adore that photo of the dog getting ready to receive a delicious treat! :) June 18, 2013 – 12:59 pm

Erika Ray Photography - Yay for Columbus! The city is the best. I keep thinking about doing a Columbus meet-up someday. Keep an eye on the FB page and come hang out!June 19, 2013 – 2:38 am

Lazy Gal Binds

This is my favorite part of the entire quilt.  Binding.  I’ve started quilts just so I can bind something while camping.  It’s true.  You can make your binding on the basis, but that freaks me out.  Ripping is so much easier for me.  I make mine straight.  If I was doing a curved project, basis binding would be smarter.

Let’s do some math first.

You’ll need 20 extra inches of binding for your quilt.  Extra is always nice.  If your quilt is 200 inches, you’ll need 220 inches.  Now you need to figure out how many strips.  Let’s say you have 1/2 yard of fabric for binding.  This means you’ve got 18 inches of fabric to rip or cut.  Do some simple division and you’ll figure out you’ll need 13 strips of binding from the 1/2 yard.  After the fabric has been squared up, I start ripping 2 1/4 inch strips.  Sometimes I iron those long strips.  Sometimes I don’t.

Take two strips and make an angle like the picture below.  I rarely pin the strips, but feel free if it’s helpful.  Sew corner to corner (some people mark this with chalk.  that’s too much work for me.  Just sew straight).  Repeat until you’ve done all your strips.

Next trim off that pesky little corner.

Warm up the iron and get working.  Iron the seam and then iron the binding in half so the wrong sides are touching each other.  Sorry, I forgot to photograph this step.  Once you’re finished ironing, you’ll have a long strip of fabric for your binding.

Now let’s get to the actual sewing.  Lay your quilt top front side up.  I start mine in the center of the longer side.  Take the binding and measure off 10 inches.  Pin this to the front of the quilt.  From the 10 inch mark, go back 20 inches and put a pin.  This is your stopping point.

I sew my binding with a quarter-inch allowance.  Start sewing!  You can pin it if you want or just move along slowly.  Make sure that you’re raw edges are lining up.

Sew until you get a quarter-inch from the first corner.  Sometimes I’ll put a pin there to remind me to stop.

I backstitch at the quarter-inch mark.  Cut the thread and pull your quilt out.  Fold the binding over to create a nice angle.  Pin it.  Now fold the binding over the cute angle.  Start sewing at the very top of the side of the quilt.  I usually backstitch because I want a nice corner.

Repeat around the entire quilt.

Sew until you reach that 20 inch pin.  Stop sewing and cut your thread.  I really do believe this part is magic.  Seriously.  I love this part.  Lay your quilt out and smooth out the binding.  Trim the binding so there’s a 2.5 inch overlap.

Pull up the binding and put right sides together.  Sew on the diagonal like the picture below.  Test to make sure it worked.  Flatten it and check the binding.  If it worked, trim off that little triangle.  Go back to where you stopped sewing and finish up the binding.  If there’s too much binding, your 2.5 inches wasn’t a proper 2.5 inches.  Try again.

Tada!!  Magic binding!

I hand sew my binding.  It  looks nicer and I sew too fast to machine stitch it.  And I really find this part of the quilt therapeutic   I didn’t take pictures to explain how I hand stitch it because this blog does a great job of explaining it.  Once you master this technique  your binding goes on so quickly.  Pour yourself a drink, put on a good movie, and get stitching.

Sometimes my seam allowance wasn’t as accurate as a quarter inch.  Maybe I got sloppy.  I keep a scissors handy and sometimes I’ll trim a little off the raw edge.  You want the binding to fit tightly over that raw edge.  I pull mine until it covers the sewing line.  Be very careful at the corners.  If you trim off the top of the corner, you will trim into the quilt and it will look like shit.  Sometimes you can’t fix that.  I know from awful experience…  When you’re binding the corners,  pull it over and handsew to the very end.  Make a little miter and then tack it flat.  This is the kind of thing that you’ll just have to play with.

Any questions?  Enjoy this part because you’re almost done.

One Second Every Day

One day in the beginning of May, I was scrolling through my Tumblr app.  I stopped on a Photojojo post about  the One Second Everyday app.  I instantly knew I had to do one more daily project.  I rarely take videos of my children, but I always want to.  It’s a hump I can’t get over.  This would help.  And really?  It’s one second.  If I don’t have time for one second, I’m royally fucked.  There’s no editing.  There’s no hunting for pictures.  Every thing is stored and edited on my phone.  I just have to remember to do it.

It’s a fun app.  You open it and shoot a video.  Once the video is done, you pick the best one second and cut it.  You’re able to take multiple videos during the day, but once you cut a second it shows up in your calendar.  All those other videos are saved in the day’s queue, but only one video gets the coveted One Second Spot.  Movement is key!  If something isn’t moving, the clip hurts the entire montage.  One non-moving second feels like it’s ten boring seconds.  The app saves the audio too.  I thought it’d be distracting, but it isn’t too bad.  I just prefer music.  A pretty big Con is how slow it opens.  You have to open it way in advance of  your big moment.  This is not a “I want to catch quick random moments” thing.  You need to have a little thought on what you want to One Second.  When it saves the clip, it also takes plenty of time.  If you head back to the home screen before the wheel stops moving, say good-bye to the clip.

I’d love to finish a whole year of One Second clips.  There’s something so satisfying about watching the days fly by.  Hearing a little snip of my kid’s laugh.  Watching someone dance to an old tune.  I love watching the rituals of the day pile up whenever I compile some seconds.  Here’s my first month.

May 4 :: June 4

One Second a Day (May 4 :: June 4) from Erika Ray on Vimeo.

Jen - Love!! Must try!!June 5, 2013 – 8:48 am

Annie - This is very cool and I’m so glad you shared this! I will have to try it out:)June 5, 2013 – 9:51 am

Caitlin Domanico - This is awesome! I can’t wait to try it.June 5, 2013 – 12:33 pm

Erika Ray Photography - Yay! When you do share it with me! I’d love to see it.June 5, 2013 – 12:42 pm

Carol Klein Ray - That was fantastic, can’t wait to see more!June 5, 2013 – 12:49 pm

Erika Dyer Ray - I can’t wait for you to be in some of them.June 5, 2013 – 12:55 pm

Bryn Campbell Nealis - Love it!June 5, 2013 – 1:44 pm

Carol Klein Ray - Yikes, you sure about that?
June 5, 2013 – 2:38 pm

Claire Rotenberger - Awesome! I think I’m going to have to do this! :P June 6, 2013 – 12:50 am

Monica Calderin - That is so cool! Going to have to check it out! That would be so awesome as a year project for an end of the year family video!June 6, 2013 – 1:59 am

mara - this is amazing! what a great idea. thank you so much for sharing!June 6, 2013 – 12:45 pm

Jackie Cuervo - @[1061104396:2048:Monica Calderin] very cool!June 6, 2013 – 1:19 pm

Jennifer Zandee Engelbrecht - Oh my GAWD this is epic. EPIC. I’m so fracking stoked I can barely stand it.June 11, 2013 – 11:45 am

Lazy Gal Quilts

Sorry for the delay on this post, but really it’s the easiest part: the quilting!  It’s also pretty important.  Without it, the entire quilt is just a bunch of fabric.

I’m not an artistic quilter.  I’m pretty lazy about it.  I look at the quilt and decide what type of quilting is going to highlight the blanket.  Sometimes I quilt on a diagonal.  The Scrappy quilts had a diagonal pattern to it, so quilting on the diagonal helped shove the pattern in your face.  Sometimes I randomly quilt straight lines all over the place.  If the quilt pattern isn’t defined, this is kind of fun.  For the Lazy Gal and other simple patchwork quilts, I like echo quilting.  It helps the simple pattern pop.

I have a walking foot for my machine.  If you plan on quilting, this is a really good investment.  It helps feed the fabric through your machine and keeps it nice and flat.  I’ve always used white thread to quilt with.  I’m lazy like that.  If not, I’d stress over the color.  I’m sure if I made a black quilt, I’d use black.  My goal is to see the quilt and not necessarily the quilting.  The quilting should be a whisper.  Or that little spark that makes you want more.  In my opinion…

Thread your machine.  Test your bobbin tension on some scrap material. Roll your quilt towards the center.  Put the presser foot on the left of the center block.  Quilt!  Gently grab the quilt and put your presser foot now on the right of the same center block.  Quilt.  Move to the next block on the right and continue until you’ve done half the quilt.  Turn the quilt and attack the left side.  Once all the rows have been quilted, you don’t have to be as careful with the quilt.  Start on the columns.  Before you know it, you’ll have a quilted blanket!

 

 

Mary Harper - now I want to see the whole thing! you may call this lazy, but I think it’s amazing.June 3, 2013 – 1:15 pm

Lisa MacIntosh - get these on etsy! you do fab work e xo.June 3, 2013 – 2:01 pm

Firsts

I should call the second half of 2013: The Six Months of Firsts.  Very soon, I will start a new job.  It will be the first time in 13 years that I will not be able to report to the office in my pjs.  It will be the first time in 13 years that I will be unable to do all our grocery shopping at 2 p.m.  I will no longer be able to work while the boys are sick and still not miss a conference call.  No more quilting in between appointment.  No more early elaborate dinners on our stove.  This is going to be difficult…

For a little bit.  Change always is, right?  My parents have literally laughed at this life-change.  ”You have no idea” is what they’ve loving said.  And they’re wrong, I totally have an idea!  It’s going to be huge.  But I’m ready for it.  I realized before the lay-off that my old job wasn’t really necessary “as-is”.  It was only a matter of time and they finally looked at the clock.  So now it’s my time to accept it.

I always felt like a sham of a Working Mom.  Minus the days I wasn’t over-night or the days I spent driving 400 miles, my version of Working Mom was easy.  That ease disappeared with the lay-off.  I am extremely fortunate that I was able to work my old job while the boys were very young.  Yes, being in a hotel was very difficult while nursing.  When the boys were sick and cried for me over the phone, that would crush anyone’s heart.  Miles spent alone in a car could be extremely destructive and lonely.  But I always looked at my job for the benefits it gave me and not for the ickiness it sometimes provided.  I plan on continuing this attitude.

I’m very lucky.  I will get to work in a big office where I know at least one good friend.  I will get to wear casual clothes and not have to buy an entire business wardrobe.  I’m also lucky because I had people looking out and advocating for me.  I get to return to an industry that I’ve been with for 13 years.  It’s a change and I’m taking it with a spoonful of sugar.  Any other way isn’t worth it.

Hang with me during these changes, won’t you?  I’ll work on getting the next Lazy Girl quilt post up.  It’s by far the easiest part of the series.  I’ll still be updating my 365.  I’ll still be photographing and writing about our life.  I can’t quit y’all.  This is just a new path for me to wander down.  A path that will be full of newness.  There’s got to be some good posts in that, right?

I plan on celebrating the end of an era until I start.  I think I’ve got a little more than a week.

Let’s get this party started!

 

 

Xanthe - All the best with this transition… if anyone can do it – you can. And we’ll all be cheering you on xxxMay 30, 2013 – 10:43 am

Imene - I am happy for your new job. I am sure you will adapt to the changes very well.
Having to dress in the morning can be fun said the lady who is still in her Jammie’s at noon :-) May 30, 2013 – 11:37 am

Sarah - that is SO great. change is in your pocket. congrats!June 5, 2013 – 1:16 pm