Photography gave me something which was a Gateway to a bigger key.
Photography was an adult first: an instant satisfaction. A reminder that I was good at Something.
Growing up, drawing did that. I was good at something simply to be good at it. It gave me joy for the sake of being joyful. Nothing else. But as a semi-adult, I understood that drawing well doesn’t pay the bills. So I let it go and considered it foolish. Especially when you think about the future of paying half the bills and/or have children to raise. I thought I’d be financially “smart” about my Future (nutty and misguided). Any “talent” felt silly unless it helped monetarily. I think a lot of people do that as adults. Moments to get lost in joy are replaced with laundry, spreadsheets, taxes, cleaning sauce off faces. All are necessary, but so is finding time for Something more.
Photography reminded me: I’m better than most at something. Something! That Something made me work hard to get better at it. To explore. To push all other needs out of the way. To grow with photography. To pursue something that was considered “fun” and not something that would greatly impact the family. It felt selfish. And nonimportant. But I ignored those feelings. I got selfish for my Something. And that selfishness made me better not just with Photography, but with all aspects of life.
Finding one Something is life changing if you get outta your way. You only need one Something, but other Somethings will follow.
It’s a shame more people can’t realize that Something can literally be anything if we let it. Maybe it’s an interest in: cooking, preserving, sewing, small talk, kindness, party planning, handwriting, dressing, volunteering, yoga, computer fixing, movie watching, walking, or cussing. Everyone has a Something. I encourage you to find yours and own it. Why?
Photography re-gave me the adolescent confidence people quickly forget or deem foolishly unnecessary. And with that confidence came a reminder…
You do something because you need to do it. Not because you want to do it. But you NEED to do it. So you squeeze it in at all costs. You don’t lists reasons to not do it. You don’t apologize for doing it. It becomes part of the deal. It’s not about financially supporting you. It’s about being you. Not the Sister, Mother, Brother, Father, Friend you. It’s simply about being the true You. When all else is stripped away, your Something is you. No one can take it once you’ve found and accepted it. No one.
Ignore accepting it and you’ll become sick. Lost. Confused. Stale. Everything suffers. People become distant and you will wither from the weight of ignorance. You’ll shuffle through life. You might idolize and hate those that have their Somethings, but you’ll still fight yours. Because that seems easier. But it’s futile.
So listen now… It really isn’t negotiable.
You can’t fuck with your soul.
So don’t. Quit trying.
Give in and don’t apologize.
Quit fighting your Something.
Embrace your Something.
And let the rest of life fall in line.
Once you accept it, your life isn’t unicorns shitting rainbows. What it means is that you’ve accepted your Something as a true North. When all else fails (and it will), you’ve got a confident You to correct the course.
So quit fucking around. It’s the weekend. Do it now. Embrace your Something. Be You.
* Why Erika would you post a blurry photo?
Easy, Folks… I’ve already said it, but I’ll say it again.
Just because you find your Something doesn’t mean life is easier. Shit happens. But if you find your Something, your You, it’s always there. You might not see it clearly, but your Unicorn is hanging out ready to help guide you through the muck of Life…
Plus all the other photos Coop took weren’t flattering of my ass.
Another Something of mine? Believing my own crap.