Erika Ray Photography » blog

Mama Sway

I thought I was like every other photographer.  I like to find the story within the frame.  That’s how everyone shoots right?  Sure some people are portrait photographers and some are wedding, but when they shoot their lives they look for what they want to remember.  That’s how everyone shoots right?

After the breakout I saw REAL thrown out all over the place.  It was in the name of my breakout, so it seemed natural.  But someone said a comment, “Let’s throw out the word REAL because there’s no such thing as a fake photo.”  Thank you!  She was so right.  But then…  I realized she wasn’t.

Some people don’t shoot REAL.  Some people craft and clean a scene for what they think they want to remember.  This is fine.  Yesterday I karate kicked a stuffed green frog out of the way because it’s all my eye went to in the frame.  But when you scrub and over create a memory for the scene something is lacking in the photo.  The magic is thrown into the dust pan.

I’m over the word Real, Lifestyle, and Storytelling is even starting to bug me (I get bugged easily).  I didn’t think we needed to give ourselves titles.  I thought we were all just photographers catching life.  Bending it slightly to make the frame beautiful.  Moving the light to make the scene glow.  But I guess we do need titles.  I’m not a wedding photographer.  I’m not a portrait photographer.  I’m a “When I’m on the Edge of Dementia That Photo Made Me Proud to Live Life” photographer.

Everyday there are scenes unfolding that make me happy to be apart of them.  My sons working together to defeat Darth Vader in a Wii game.  My kids running through the Christmas tree lot.  90% of the time, I know what I’m capturing and I know why.  But 10% of the time, there’s a surprise chunk of life that I didn’t notice until I started processing.  Yesterday, the 10% hit me.

I was able to met up with my past two birth clients.  I asked Staci to move under the shade of a large tree.  I wanted to shoot Owen as he rested over her shoulder.  Staci kept rocking him back and forth.  I almost asked her to stop, but I fired off a few frames and got a little smile.

When I flipped through the frames, I saw that 10% flash through my screen: The Mama Sway.  Have a baby.  That baby grows up.  Hold a newborn.  Watch your hips rock back and forth on instinct.  You can’t stop it.  The Mama Sway becomes etched into your bones.  You can’t turn it off.  It’s now part of your DNA.  Motherhood changes your body in ways we can see: c-section scars or saggy breasts.  But also in ways we can’t: your tone when something is dangerous, how you read a story while juggling 4 different character voices, and the Mama sway.  It’s your comfort mechanism and it doesn’t discriminate.  That’s what I want to remember when I can barely remember my own name.  How we comforted our babies.

stephanie - haha. the other day I was holding beach towels waiting for my children to come in from the sprinkles and totally had the mama sway going as I cradled the towels in my arms. it just doesn’t stop. love this post, erika. you’re a storyteller whether you like it or not.May 24, 2013 – 9:45 am

amy grace - you are a truth machine.May 24, 2013 – 10:34 am

Keri - I catch myself swaying all the time. Holding my boys or not. Etched in. Love this Erika!May 24, 2013 – 10:57 am

Shelby - I’m not even a mama yet but i do the mama sway when comforting babies i’m caring for.May 24, 2013 – 12:52 pm

Jill - I start to sway even when I’m out in oublic and someone else’s kid starts crying… It’s subconscious movement!May 24, 2013 – 1:02 pm

Suzanne Gipson - yes. to all of it.May 24, 2013 – 1:02 pm

Marisa Cieloha - Beautiful!May 24, 2013 – 3:21 pm

Staci Hiles McCool - Damn you! You always make me cry.May 24, 2013 – 4:34 pm

Anonymous - I may be biased but he is the cutest Lil man ever! My kids are 20,18 and 12 that sway is definitely engraved in your brain!May 24, 2013 – 6:36 pm

Lisa Sauder - Love this! So precious. And your post about the “mama sway” is so true!May 25, 2013 – 12:58 am

Random Crap 11

Or better said, “iPhone Photos I Just Took Around the House.”

Couple of Random Craps hitting the Fan this week…

  • We’re obsessed with “House of Cards.”  And I’m obsessed with Robin Wright’s hair.  Plus her badass bitchy attitude.  No spoilers!  We’re on episode 10.  Or 11…  Whatever, it’s really good.
  • I’ve never read one David Sedaris book.  It’s true.  But I’m itching to get my hands on his latest.
  • We have some special guests coming next week so that means artwork goes up!  Picked up some prints from Society 6 and a big one from Costco.  Poor Becks isn’t on the living room wall yet.
  • I always type “on” when I mean to type “one”.  And “one” when I mean to type “on”.
  • Our A/C is broken and won’t be looked at until the day our guest arrive (sorry…).  I bought enough mangos for jam and hot sauce.  Canning heats the house up pretty quickly, so this morning, I hit the stove and made some Mango Peach Hot Sauce.
  • Long skirts mean you can avoid the razor a little longer in the hotter months.
  • I might be crazy (Who am I kidding? I am.), but I think I’m going to get tricked into the Couch to 5K app.  My sister has been running for a while and she’s a huge inspiration.  My SIL started it a few weeks ago and mentioned we should do a Color Run.  I haven’t really decided yet, but I should probably add some exercise to my life.  Shit…  I just typed that, didn’t I?

 

 

Imene - I was as close to a runner as a mammoth is close to a butterfly. The C25K really made a difference that and my husband chucking me out of bed at 6 a.m every morning.
I signed up for a race on 6/22. I think I am barking mad ;-) .May 22, 2013 – 4:32 pm

Jessica Bennett Lewis - I think I watched all of the house of cards episodes within 3 sleepless nights. I loved it.
read that sedaris book. and then read some more.
i’m trying to hang prints too before they arrive. most of the walls are completely blank from repainting. and we’re lazy. and I need more frames. and matt’s not here and I’d rather he was doing it (he was supposed to before he left).
i’m with you on the exercise. yard work has been my only exercise lately and I’m tired of it, but it seems to be working.

i think that canning book is on my list of books to buy. do you recommend it? the library here is shitty, so I can’t try books out before buying them.May 22, 2013 – 6:13 pm

Erika Dyer Ray - I love this book. I’d say I’ve made at least 6 things from it. Go for it! I just wish it weren’t so hot when you should be canning.May 22, 2013 – 6:30 pm

Imene Said Kouidri - I was as close to a runner as a mammoth is close to a butterfly. The C25K really made a difference that and my husband chucking me out of bed at 6 a.m every morning.
I signed up for a race on 6/22. I think I am barking mad ;-) .May 22, 2013 – 8:31 pm

Simple Summer Pleasures

Last night, we grabbed summer’s easiest and quickest toy: the sprinkler.  They made a weapon out of it.  They made a game out of it.  They had pure simple fun for an hour.  

This morning, I logged onto CNN.com and saw men carrying children from a school.  I saw women looking for their pets.  I saw a dazed and injured man sitting in the rubble of his life-long home.

The contrasting images of life are sometimes unbearable.  I’m grateful.  I’m angry.  I fill with happiness for their simple joy.  I fill with sadness because others won’t get this joy ever again.

The people need help once again.  Dig deep into your own gratitude and donate.  

Maybe it’s time for a print sale…

 

Trip to Jeni’s Ice Cream Fixes a Bunch of Things

Coop had a doctor’s appointment mid-morning, so I decided it’d be fun for him to skip school all day.

We had a plan.  Doc.  Library.  Park.  Lunch.  Jeni’s. Grocery.  Home.

I’ve had kids long enough to know having a plan is a sure-fire why to jump off a building mid-way through said plan.

But this time, the kids didn’t throw the wrench.

It was my uterus.

I swear to you it’s like I’m carrying a raging lion in my nether region.  Yes, this is probably too much info.  But we’re all adults.  Most of us are women who’ve had their own raging uterus.  Let’s all huddle around and hug each other.  We put up with way too much from this little bitch.

Cramps that can almost chain you to the couch.  Cramps that will stop you from taking a step.  Lower back pain that makes you feel 30 years older.  Bloat that will cause a waitress to ask, “When are you due, Sweetie.”  Rage that will then cause you to rip out the Waitress’ throat Dalton style from Road House.  Tears spilled for a hang nail that closely resemble the tears spilt for a dead Grandma.

If you’re lucky, you’re able to hit the couch.  You’re able to load up on drugs to ease the pain.  If you’re lucky you’ve never had a man say, “So you’re going to blame this on your period?” or “Geez you’re PMS-y.”  If you’re lucky, you’re always able to find a tampon.  You’ve never ruined your pants/skirt/new undies.  You’ve never had to create a make-shift pad out of napkins in a gas station bathroom.  If you’re lucky, your periods last 3 days.  If you’re lucky you’ve never had clots that resemble mini-placentas.  If you’re lucky, you’re clockwork and not guessing the day.  If you’re lucky, you always have red wine on hand when your period turns into a raging lion.

If you’re lucky, you’re a man.

Because I can’t write a Period post with Period pictures.  I don’t have it in me.  I’m not in the mood.

Enjoy some Jeni’s.  It helped for a little bit.

Irina - Aww! I feel for you! That uterus sure can be a bitch! Good thing there’s good ice cream and/or wine to the rescue! :)
You know, I don’t mean to advertise or anything but google Diva Cup. For the past three years I’ve used it I haven’t had any cramps. Not a single one! (I’m not even dreading my special time of the month anymore!)
And for now – hang in there! Big hug!May 16, 2013 – 9:37 pm

Jessica Bennett Lewis - add in monstrous acne and you’ve nailed it for me.

i’m dying over his freckles and drooling over coconut and honey ice cream that I can’t have. please tell jeni to franchise in the atlanta area.May 16, 2013 – 9:49 pm

Heather - Take a look at softcup.com. Used to be called ‘Instead’. Haven’t used a tampon since I found these and I rarely have cramps.May 17, 2013 – 8:53 pm

Portraits of an Eight Year Old

Typical eight year-old faces…

Suzanne Gipson - omg so great. love the second one.May 15, 2013 – 10:11 pm

Jen McGreer Downer - I am completely in love with his little freckles.May 15, 2013 – 10:37 pm

Ketti Phillips - Hilarious! I love that face in the last one – it’s so odd from a distance.May 15, 2013 – 11:17 pm

Erika Dyer Ray - There was one that was too freaky to share.May 16, 2013 – 12:00 am

Ketti Phillips - I wanna see it!!!May 16, 2013 – 12:55 am

Erika Dyer Ray - I’ll share it with you in a PM. :) May 16, 2013 – 9:10 pm

Random Crap 10

Today’s Random Crap is different.  I don’t feel like sharing links.  Instead, I’m going to share a recent quilt.  I have a friend who sends the best cards!  A few years ago, I got a “You’re all that and a bag of chips.”  I’m pretty sure my Christmas card had “fuck” in it somewhere.  A few months ago, I got a box full of dark chocolate eggs and a card that said, “AWKWARD.”  There were a ton of bags, so some people might have thought “Awkward” was fitting.  But when I opened the card it was full of $20s.  Awkward indeed.

But then I read it.  She asked and paid for a quilt.  My choice.  My work.  Her quilt.

She had left comments on IG photos about wanting a quilt, but I assumed she was being nice.  People say things like that.  People are nice.  But she shoved money at me and there was no way to refuse.  Plus I really do think all houses should have at least one handmade quilt.

I’m not quiet about my non-professional quilts, so I was confident that she would be aware the lines wouldn’t be super straight.  But I went to work to create the best possible quilt for her family.  I wanted to know her family room colors and her plans for the quilt.  There’s a few camera prints in there.  We met because of photography, so it’s fitting.  Her Scrappy Trip is full of oranges and some hints of teal.  I hope I created something that will host backyard picnics, offer comfort from a scary movie, a nice photography background, and a cozy snuggle.

I still love this pattern.  I’ve got a much smaller one planned.  This one is maybe 70 x 70.  It grows and the pattern forms after a bunch of blocks have been created.  That pushes me to work on the next block.  It works really well with a variety of patterns.  But I think a break is in order.  No worries, it won’t be my last!

Jessica Thomason - So gorgeous! Love the heart! Awesome color combo too!May 15, 2013 – 3:21 pm

Felicia Chang - The fabrics and colours make me feel happy, it’s a beaut! I love quilting. It’s one of my go-to creative outlets :) And I think non-straight lines and uneven blocks and hand-sewn binding are what makes quilts awesome!May 15, 2013 – 4:12 pm

Sharilyn Wright - hand sewn everything!May 15, 2013 – 4:21 pm

Maria Gernert Conover - So what you are saying is…If I throw money at you, you’ll do things for me?
P.S. This quilt is awesome, lucky her!May 15, 2013 – 10:22 pm

Lisa Epp - THIS is gorgeous and I’m in love with the color.
Beautiful and I have no doubt it will be loved.May 16, 2013 – 4:57 pm