It’s that time again! Back to School otherwise known as Adult Christmas.
See ya, Champs. Get out. Hit the sidewalk your teachers are waiting and I’m five seconds from starting my Party.
I’ve given you the big main points for the past two years. I’m not sure there’s anything else I could add to those lists. You don’t have a tolerance for my preaches anyways. The main points boiled down:
- Be kind.
- Ask questions.
- We’ve got your back.
- Doodle. Read. Try not to talk.
- Be you. Always be you.
- Stand up for those who can’t.
- Be kind.
You got it? Those are the main points you should always live by even when you leave the classroom. Remember these and your life could be easier.
But you know I have a hard time not preaching. Ask your father. So do me a favor and tolerate these Back to School basics?
- Clean out your bookbag at the end of the day. I’m so sick of dealing with a week (two weeks worth of papers).
- Do your best with homework and actually turn it in (Becks, I’m looking at you!)
- Make good lunch choices when you buy or when you pack your own lunch (That’s right. Ma’s done packing). And for the love of all that is holy in this house, take your uneaten food out and put it in the trash! I get it. You don’t always eat your lunch, but finding two moldy sandwiches from last year really reflects poorly on my parenting. I’ll take some heat on this one… But just a little bit of heat because you’re old enough to find a trash can. Reread the first point, please.
- Get dressed for school prior to coming down in the morning. Put on new shorts each day, please. And feel free to wear shorts even when it’s snowing. I’m not fighting you this year. Your legs. Your comfort, kid.
- But always wear underwear. You shouldn’t go commando at school. You never know…
- Don’t wait until the night before to tell me about a big project. If you tell me as soon as you get the info, we’ll probably still wait to start until the night before it’s due. We procrastinate. But if you don’t tell me, I’ll get upset with you. Do tell me with advance notice and I’ll get upset with myself. Plus it’s your project. How am I supposed to know something’s due?!
- Using your slang… Please avoid the school’s Drama Bombs. It’s always drama and never goes in anyone’s favor. Never.
- There’s some new kids in each of your grades. Please welcome them. Make them feel included. It’s good karma because one day you might be the new kid. Plus it’s really nice to be kind to someone who might be feeling afraid and/or lonely.
- You need to read something every day, Becks! How about we make this year the year you fall in love with reading? Humor me and say, “yes”.
- Be a good example, Coop. You’re part of the oldest class now. Little ones will look up to you. Be kind to them because next year you’ll be part of the youngest class. It’s good karma, Kid.
- Reread the above Main Points and really try to live by them.
Now go kill it, Boys. The year is yours!
I can’t wait to hear about your first day, but right now you’ve got a desk to find and friends to greet.
And I’ve got a party to start!
Want my mug? I know you do… Visit Brim Papery’s Etsy store on August 29 at 2 p.m. EST.