I told Mark last night with a few tears that this was a difficult month. I had just received a text that my birth clients liked the photos and with that news, my “vacation” was over. I completed everything I needed to do before I’d really start to look for a job. I’m done. And that led to a tearful realization that it’s been a really difficult month.
One month ago, a phone call started with “I’m so sorry” and ended with “I’m so sorry.” A week later a phone call started with, “I have some bad news” followed with a few nasty sounding options. I’ve had to smoosh my 13 years onto a page that sells my skills. I had to face the fact that I might be a landlord. I’ve stood in line at a bank and asked for a much larger than anticipated cashier’s check. I finished up a “book”, edited photos, made videos, and compressed it all into a Break-out Session. I called unemployment and discussed what I’m qualified to do and reduced myself to a number. I’ve given my son’s two weeks at a place that basically helped raise him. And I’ve been on call for a birth than went more than a week overdue. Let’s be honest, it’s been my roughest month to date.
But at the very end of it, I can also say it’s been my most amazing month to date.
I’ve received tons of supportive emails and mail with detailed instructions on how to kickass during the rough month. I’ve gotten surprise complimentary emails about my writing. I’ve had friends ask us to dinner and let me rant. I’ve had friends feed us homemade meals where I didn’t touch a mixing bowl or spoon. I put away my suitcase. I’ve enjoyed countless, “Are you ok” calls where they don’t come right out and ask it. Upgraded to an iPhone with unlimited texting (come on, that’s awesome) We spent a night celebrating with our closest friends and some new ones. I’ve had old colleagues attempt to make something work to bring me back. I finished the “book” and videos. I shoveled our driveway by myself. Taken lunch breaks with friends. Leaned on my family. When I couldn’t handle life, my husband jumped into the fire and put it out. I finished a quilt with no puckering. I started another 365 project which helped show me the light left in life. I’ve given a woman images that will always remind her that she’s incredibly strong. I’ve turned down a few generous donations to help with the old house. We got rid of the old house. I’ve taken a break. I was able to volunteer at the school. I’ve had friends pass along job leads. I spent a day and night with women who believe and only want the best for other women. I made homemade chicken stock. I finally got to see a project explode into awesomeness. I was able to witness a couple turn into a family. I didn’t tell anyone to Go Fuck Themselves.
Flat out, best month ever.
Thanks for being a part of it.
Stick around, I think the next 11 months are going to be pretty swell.