It makes sense that I’d find out I was being laid off while on the road. My supervisor called early Friday morning and asked where I was. When she asked if I wanted to pull over, I knew. And no I wasn’t going to pull over. There’s no way I was going to get home 15 minutes later because I might breakdown. I’ve been on the road for thirteen years, this wasn’t going to delay me getting home. When you live on the road, getting home as soon as possible is always paramount. And I was going to get home as soon as possible.
Everyone asks, “Did you know this was coming?” Honestly, yes since the first round of lay-offs 4 years ago. Why not find a new job? Because I liked my job. When it was good, it was awesome. When it was bad, I knew I had to ride it out. Did you prepare? No. Four years is a long time to think you’re going to be laid-off, so you quit living like the shoe will drop. Life becomes impossible when you walk in that shadow. I just don’t have a job. And I have no clue what I’m going to do next. My skill set is pretty specific. I started that job, right out of college. The supervisor that delivered the news was the same one that hired me. 23 and still squeaky from my college bath. 13 years later, she told a mother of two and the gig was up. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for her either.
Monday’s here. I didn’t have appointments today, so I started my day how I would have if I had a job. I got Becks dressed and fed. Coop doesn’t have school, so he’s watching cartoons. And I’m in my office. Normal Monday, but I’m not sure what to do. There’s no emails to respond to or products to brush up on. Just the waiting period until HR calls.
I told a friend of mine in the bathroom of a bar we were hiding in that I still remain optimistic about 2013. That’s a weird feeling for me. I’m not a optomistic person to begin with. Fingers crossed we should be closing on our old home at the end of the month. The excitement of being in this home without the attachment of the old home is so darn fantastic and bright, I can hardly take it. The news on Friday should have smudged that shine, but it hasn’t. Maybe it will and I’m still numb. But I still see 2013 as being awesome. And I’m kind of clinging to that right now. Believe me, I’m not happy about this. I’ve Ugly cried at hotel commercials. I’ve Ugly cried in the car twice. But for right now, I don’t feel like the future is all dark and gloomy.
If I fall off the Optimism Train, let me wallow a bit in the mud ok. Because whether I’m happy or sad, I know deep down that everything will be ok. It always is. It’s just different.
funny thing… I am having a really hard time unpacking my suitcase.