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A Bullshit Post

I was already to write a ranty post about how being a working mom sucks.  And SAHM’s can stop whining about how hard it is.

That’s right, I was ready to pull that card.

And it’s ok. Because a thousand SAHM would tell me I’m wrong.

And a thousand WM’s would tell me I’m right.

Flip the script depending on the blogger.

Here’s the deal, being a parent is really hard.  It’s that simple.

My job is hard.

Your job is hard.

Things aren’t set up the way I want.  I want summer camp (fancy word for daycare for an older kid) to last as long as summer break.  I want after-care to last as long as normal working parents’ hours.  Why charge extra for anything after 3:30?  That’s bullshit.  No one’s hours are until 3:30.  Fuck that. No one’s hours are until 3 and then they get the extra half hour to get their kids.  I’m not alone in this problem.  I’d say I’m in the majority.

But I’d also say that SAHM’s want things to be different.  They want what they want.  I can’t tell you those things because right now I’m not a SAHM.  But I believe they should get them.  Because we all deserve it to be a little easier.

What I do know is that it’s all hard.  It’s just hard.  It doesn’t matter which side you’re playing: being a parent is the hardest thing you’ll ever do.   Pregnant/New Baby Ladies might think you know how hard it will be.  But you’re ridiculously stupid.  You’ll take offense to this.  That’s ok.  You’ll think I’m naive about your feelings.  I’ll laugh.  But I’ll also welcome and hug you.  You’ll come around like we all did.  And I won’t throw it in your face.

Seasoned Mommas will say, “YEAH  FUCK YEAH it is.”  It’s not even the martyr in us.  It’s the Parent in us.

You do the best and just hope it’s enough.  You say “NO” to their wild demands and hope that doesn’t turn them into drug addicts.  You fail to say “NO” and hope it doesn’t turn them into drug addicts.   You pick your battles and keep your fingers crossed that you chose well.  You give them limits and pray that means they’ll have a good life.  You remind them to say, “Excuse me” after a burp and hope they actually do it most of the time.  You’ll nag them to bring their dishes in and hope their partner says “thank you” in 20 years.

Deep down, you hope you did good when life wasn’t they way you needed it to be.




  • Jodie - Truth.July 30, 2013 – 9:33 amReplyCancel

  • Monica Calderin - Throw in a child with autism into the mix of raising three boys and I promise you you’ll feel like you’re losing your freaking mind at times! Damn right it’s the hardest thing ever. But also the most rewarding.

    I’ll never understand how those two go together, but they do.July 30, 2013 – 4:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Heather - It is by far the h.a.r.d.e.s.t thing I’ve ever done. Each season brings it’s trials and failures. Through each age, I hold my breath hoping I’m making the ‘right’ decision and don’t screw up my kid. Through each milestone, I celebrate and contemplate how the world could make it just a little bit easier on us moms. I share advice when asked but always end with a disclaimer of…but that was my experience and yours may be totally different.

    Know what? Even with the knowledge I have now, I’d do it all again. I’d just cut myself more slack as I walk through each trying situation.

    So if you’re reading this, cut yourself some slack. You have my permission.August 4, 2013 – 10:36 amReplyCancel

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