I love when I get to walk home from school with Cooper. I love the lazy conversation. I love how we talk about nothing and we shuffle through it. All the way to the front door to a dog who acts like we haven’t seen each other in decades. It’s only been ten minutes, but she knocks you over each time.
I love the meals around the table. I’d say we’re 5 out of 7 for Table Eating Moments. We sit. Becket wants to pray. It’s always funny because we’ve never prayed. He never wants to start it, so Cooper does. It always a form of “Thank you Mommy for making this food for us” which circles the table. And I’m happy for a few seconds because I know that they’ll rarely eat the dinner. However they always take their plates to the sink. And I never have to ask. A little tiny win.
But there are times when I don’t get to walk home or call them to the table. And I’ll take it without sadness or guilt. I won’t even pretend to say, “I’m gutted”. Nope. I think I’m a little better if I’m gone every now and then. Mark handles the house just fine. Every now and then they get to watch tv when they eat dinner. Mark gets to cook pizzas which I think he prefers to my curried chicken dishes. They get to play a little more video games and stay up a little later than usual. And I get to watch smutty, awful, nasty tv without feeling guilty.
To fill the void and wish them happy nights, we Skype or iChat. When away from home, Mommas want their kids’ attention more then ever. We want reassurance. We want, “I miss you soooo much”. But we never get that. How many times have you called home and your kid doesn’t want to talk? Sometimes it hurts. Just say “Hi” for one second. Please. But they sit there, silent. The phone needs an Effect button. The boys love it! Squeeze. Pinch. Fisheye. All of it keeps them on the iChat and makes them laugh so hard.
And those giggles are all you want to hear when you’re really far from home.
Tonight I’m grateful for Effects.