But I didn’t. Because I didn’t really think I was crabby because of a period. And also when a woman blames her mood for a Period, men seem to think they get the same privilege and that’s certainly never the case (another blog post, Folks)
But honestly, I’m a piss poor of an excuse for a woman and an adult really. You see, it’s true:
- I have no clue when it’s daylight savings. And I don’t really trust the whole Fall back thing, so I never know how to adjust my clocks.
- I have no idea how to figure out Pacific Standard Time, Central screws me up, and who the fucks know about Mountain Standard time?!
- Washing your sheets once a week? Shit…
- How long to you let an egg sit in the boiled water for a hard boil? How about rice? Is it the same time? I google it every time.
- I haven’t worn a wedding ring since I was pregnant with Becks. It doesn’t bother me or Mark who hasn’t worn his for the same amount of time. It just felt weird, so I don’t. Do I think we aren’t married? Trust me, we are. And the ring doesn’t prove that.
- I have no clue when my period is coming. Ever. Thank god, I started using an app, but I still have NO IDEA when it’s coming until I click the button. And then I go all shocked and I whisper, “Well all that makes sense now…”
The week before I get crabby. I eat the entire fridge, pantry, and basement reserves. If I have more than two glasses of wine, I get beyond forgetful. I look like I’m about 5 months pregnant. I’ve got period symptoms, but I ignore them because I’m not good at being an Adult Woman. So I blame everything else because it’s clearly EVERYTHING else.
I’m crabby because I’m a working mom of two boys. I eat the entire fridge because some days I don’t eat anything. Maybe it was actually three REALLY big glasses of wine. I usually look like I’m 5 months pregnant. And I did eat the entire fridge. And drink that box of wine. The symptoms are easily ignored by a Not Good Adult Woman.
And when I can’t ignore it any longer, I shake my head at the ignorance. It’s that time ONCE again. Dammit. It’s still a surprise. “WHAT is this disgusting shit?!” How did this happen?! No really?! It isn’t fair! While dealing with awful cramps, I jokingly asked that question and a woman truthfully said, “Because Eve couldn’t resist temptation.” She’s lucky I resisted the temptation to pull out her eyelashes. But I hate Woman on Woman crime (even though she started it). **
So I didn’t end yesterday’s post with that because I had no clue. And let’s be honest, I’m usually a bit crabby.
19 :: 30
Not being pregnant. Cause that’s the only good thing about having a period If you don’t want to be pregnant. And I don’t.
** Please don’t yell at me if you’re religious. I get it. Fine that’s what you believe. But a very simple, “I’m sorry sweetie” would have been better than a suck it up for Jesus answer (a version of what my Ma would have said to us as kids. She knows better than to pull that card with a Period though…).
***I miss shooting in bathrooms.